God, this argument again? Geez, we keep harping on the same problems over and over. When does this end?

Yes, there aren’t alot of women invited to speak at technology events and conferences. So, we create our own associations and conferences where only women can join or speak. And it raises our profiles. To other women.

Then, we pitch lame topics to conference organizers, such as Where are the Women, or How to Hire Women in IT. So, the conference organizer succumbs, puts the sessions on the bill only to have 5 people show up and 4 of them are the panelist.

Then, as women, we neglect to show up at other conferences, angry that there aren’t any female keynote speakers. We let our personal protest stand in the way of filling conference seats with female faces. So because women don’t attend, people think there aren’t many women in tech.

And when we do show up, we hide in the background, hoping someone will notice us instead. A long time ago, some guidance counsellor or teacher or even your own mother told you that “Good girls wait to be asked,” or “Good girls don’t brag about themselves.” So, we hide in the shadows and use our blogs and podcasts to voice how we really feel.

When we do approach conference organizers, it’s in a group. It’s not enough to have 1 voice, so let’s band all the women together and march over and give these guys a piece of our minds.

And instead of starting from a place of understanding or even praise, it’s one of criticism. No one wants to hear they’re ugly. Even if they are, first compliment their shoes. Or teeth. But no, you scream how ugly the person is and now that person’s got his or her defenses up. So, they choose not to listen. Great job.

Then, when a woman does “represent,” instead of patting her on the back and using our blogs and podcasts to say “You go girl,” we criticize her hair, covet her position in life and say how she’s too ambitious. Or, we say that her background and experience doesn’t warrant her speaking at a tech conference.

And of course, we don’t realize that the number of women in any highly specialized occupation is quite small. Do the math. Check the census in your country. If 50% of your workforce is women and of that, 80% of women are working in low paying, part-time service related positions, how many women do you think are actually working in IT? Can someone do the math and figure this thing out? (finding the source to these stats)

But no, the solution is to burn out the handful of highly successful women in technology to the point where they’re travelling more days out of the month than they have hairs on their head.

And with most conferences paying with exposure these days, we also want these small group of highly successful women in tech to go bankrupt too. Let them pick up their own tab on airfare and hotel. Let’s not forget that the brunt of the child rearing falls on the woman anyways, but hey, who cares, right? We need these women to represent at these conferences. Shame on them for having other priorities.

Oh and speaking is an art, right? At least that what I think. It’s difficult to find a charismatic speaker who’s well versed in tech. It’s equally difficult to find a charismatic female speaker who’s well versed in tech.

The success of conferences rely heavily on having speakers who not only convey great information, but can also entertain. Yet, why bother with that? Instead, let’s get some gal who’s only friend is her MacBook, who rarely speaks in front of a crowd, who’s as shy as a mouse and throw her in front of a room of 300 corporate types. You don’t need to be in Iraq to hear the bombs drop on that one.

My advice to women who continue to complain about these things?

1. Ask. It’s simple. Stop being that little girl who was told that good girls don’t ask. I ask. I ask to be apart of this circle. I ask for everything I want. The worst that someone could say to me is no.
2. When you do ask, be positive. Enough with the Debbie Downer when you approach people. You’ll attract more flies with honey than with vinegar, so stop being so negative.
3. If you ask and you don’t get a response, go to someone else. Often, there’s a team of people working on an event, not just the head cheese in charge. So, if you email or call 1 person and they don’t respond, take it that they’re busy (don’t assume they’re ignoring you) and move on to the next person on the organizing team.
4. Understand that the conference business is a business. Look at who the organizers are trying to attract in terms of attendees, then pitch a topic that would be of interest to that audience. It’s not about you, it’s about how your topic will help fill seats.
5. Get a speakers’ portfolio put together. This includes a picture, bio, your speaking topics and video of you speaking. Conference organizers want to make sure that you have what it takes to hold your own in front of a group for at least 30-minutes.
6. Don’t have a speaking video to share? Create one. Drag someone out to your next speaking gig who has a video camera and record your entire speech. Then, pull out the part where the audience laughed or was moved by something you said. That becomes your speaking video.
7. Don’t know how to speak to entertain? Join Toastmasters. Has done wonders for my speaking skills. Anyone can speak, but only a select few can be speakers. Speaking isn’t just about talking. It also includes gestures, voice inflection, body movement. Go to the website, find a chapter and join it. You can also record your short speeches and use them in your portfolio too.
8. Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you talk about female topics. Hone your expertise in a tech specific area, then own it. Just because I’m Black doesn’t mean I talk about Black issues. No, my expertise is in podcasting. Find yours in something other than your gender.
9. Show up. Great advice I got from Robert Scoble last year when I interviewed him at the Portable & New Media Expo. You’ve got to make an appearance. You’ve got to be visible. Attend as many conferences and networking events as you financially and physically can. It’s only when you continue being visible that you’ll be called upon to speak at events.
10. But don’t just show up, be disruptive. Great advice I got from my business coach. And I don’t mean being rude or outlandish. I mean being apart of the action. Asking questions during the Q&A in almost every session. I make noise. I make sure I’m noticed so that there’s no excuse as to why I wasn’t included.
11. Tell people what you want. It’s not enough to show up and be disruptive. You also have to tell people what you’re looking for. I got a book deal without sending out a book proposal or working through a literary agent. This book deal happened because I told alot of people that I wanted to publish a book – NOW. So, when a publisher came knocking, looking for an author for his title, my colleague introduced him to me. If you want to get a keynote, tell people. If you want to publish a book, tell people.

Tags: robert scoble, mesh conference, toastmasters, networking, women in technology, women