I recently lost a speaking gig.

I was referred to a conference organizer who was looking for a techie based speaker. With my seven books and years of experience speaking, I thought I was a shoo-in.

We got on the phone and after a few minutes of polite banter, the conference organizer asked me to tell her what I speak on.

I went into a summary of my three main topics – the ones I felt would be a perfect for her audience.

As I was rattling off my speaking topics, I started to feel uncomfortable.

Here’s why…

I felt like I was convincing her to hire me. And that felt icky to me. Like I was begging for the job.

But the biggest reveal was yet to come…

The conference organizer knew more about me than she had let on. She shared that she had seen some of my videos on Facebook. And here’s what she said next:

“I’ve watched some of your videos, and while I think you’re an eloquent speaker, I’m just not sure you’re a right fit for our upcoming conference.”

And now I understood why she wanted me to convince her…

Although the referral was strong, and she trusted that person’s recommendation, and I do know my stuff technically, my livecasts had created doubt that I could actually deliver what the conference organizer needed.

You see, over the past several months, I have been exploring my truth…

I went through a bad break-up in 2015 and had gone on a journey to find myself. I started digging deep into why I was repeating the same patterns in my romantic relationships.

After a few weeks, not only did I uncover the bad habits in my romantic relationships, but I noticed the same patterns in other areas of my life as well.

Wow! That was a huge step for me…

And once I made the big discovery, I started to share it on social media so others could experience their own breakthrough.

I shared my truth on my personal Facebook wall, as well as through livecasting. Women, especially, ate it up. A few hired me to help them clear their life clutter.

It appeared that I found a new way to help people in this world, especially since I had grown tiresome of the burden of being a pioneer and futurist.

But I also got messages from concerned colleagues and family members wondering if I was okay…

Should you really be sharing that so openly? (said one)

How will your consulting clients interpret what you’re posting on Facebook? (said another)

Leesa, people look up to you and respect your tech expertise – I’m not sure I understand what you’re doing (said yet another)

I interpreted their “nagging” as trying to silence me, so, I continued…

But there was a turning point…

It was a combination of things and it all happened in a span of a few days. Namely:

• I was informed that I had been selected to represent technology on a poster honouring Blacks who have excelled in STEAM (science, technology, engineering, arts, mathematics). The poster will be unveiled during Black History Month in 2017 and if the past is any indication, many dignitaries will be in attendance.
• A unexpected family issue inspired an idea for a much needed app that I’m in the process of building (and seeking funding for).
• My enthusiasm in helping others move through their historical trauma started to weigh heavily on my soul. Helping others uncover their gloom was taking me into a dark place.

Losing the speaking opportunity was exactly what needed to happen to prove that I had to reclaim my gift as a futurist, pioneer, and tech evangelist.

You see, we can – and should – share our truth…

There’s research that shows that when we bottle up our pain, we do more damage to our bodies. We do need an outlet to share our gloom.

But the one truth I learned is that if you rely on social media to cultivate your brand, you need to share the truth that aligns with strengthening that brand. If your truth diminishes your brand, then that’s not the truth you should be sharing.

That’s why having a solid story structure helps…

I teach my clients how to design their signature story in my training program called Telling Sells. It acts as guide in helping you understand which gloomy part of your story you need to shed light on and which should be left out.

I believe in the power of telling your personal story because stories are more memorable. Whether you’re trying to close a deal or get a pay raise, stories married with solid data can get you much further than facts alone.

Yes, you must share that point in your story where you hit rock bottom. But be very careful which rocky bottom you invite others to experience with you.

Although I wish I followed my own advice, I’m glad that I could use me as an example to my clients on what not to do…

Use a journal to capture your gloomy truth. Then, work with a story coach so you understand which parts of your gloom should be folded into your brand’s story, and which ones should be kept on your private journal pages.