I finished watching Season 1 of the Netflix produced series called Marvel’s Luke Cage. I have quite a bit to say about the series, but for now, I want to focus on one character.

Her name is Mercedes “Misty” Knight and she’s a Harlem NYPD Detective…

She appears in the very first episode. Misty is a guest at Harlem’s Paradise nightclub where she’s keeping an eye on the nightclub’s owner, Cornell “Cottonmouth” Stokes.

Luke Cage, who works as a bartender, strikes up a conversation with Misty who’s sitting at the bar. The conversation is a bit weird because it appears as if he’s insulting her. But she seems to enjoy the banter by insulting him back.

When the night ends, Luke unexpectedly meets Misty on the street. He invites her for coffee, she refuses, but ends at his apartment anyways for a tryst. It is revealed later in the episode that she’s not an auditor (as she told Luke), but a detective for the NYPD.

As the series goes on, the character of Misty begins to annoy me…

She lacks personality. She’s plain looking. She’s focused too much on her job. Although the other characters begin to develop, Misty doesn’t. I’m beginning to dislike her.

And then it hit me…

What bothers me about Misty is her spirit of independence. The need to be in control and to do things on her own, without help. Being impulsive at times and not thinking of the consequences.

So why was I being triggered?

When I dug deeper to find out why Misty’s spirit of independence was triggering me, I could finally see that she reminded me of me. The version of me who was independent, defiant, and the need to always be in control.

Independence isn’t a bad thing…

We need to exhibit the freedom to make decisions so we can walk our own path. The freedom of choice is a divine construct and if God allows us the space to independently make decisions, then that’s our right.

But when independence is wrapped up in defiance and control, that’s where it become tasteless and ugly…

If we are focused on following our own path by ignoring the input of others, we will harm our ability to innovate our income. I came to this realization after going on a spiritual journey and doing some healing work around why I need to be in control.

Isolation and innovation are mutual opposites…

One of the success habits of those who innovate is collaboration. In order to implement your ideas, you need help. And in order to clarify your ideas, you need to brainstorm with others.

If you’re trying to be a strong, independent Black woman, you will continue to experience rollercoaster revenue…

I know why Black women are trying to be Misty…

Black woman have been burdened with keeping their families, their churches, and their communities together. We have become so used to doing things on our own that we have lost the art of asking for help.

But as a Black woman, I know that you’re tired.

You’re suffocating in the “o” zone…

You’ve been overgiving, overthinking, overachieving, overcaring, and overcommitting at the expense of your health, wealth, and sanity.

It’s time to breathe…

What are you willing to give up? Post below.