Here’s one thing I know – successful people don’t have time to waste typing up looooooooooooong emails when declining an offer or responding to a customer service complaint.

I was reading an article on HuffPost that encouraged its readers to never send long emails. In the article, it shared that Steve Jobs had a habit of only sending one sentence replies. Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon.com, only replies with a single question mark.

When I was inviting speakers to my very first telesummit on faith & finances, I reached out to some top names in my industry. These included bestselling authors, financial gurus and international speakers.

Their email replies taught me alot about getting to the point without being rude…

I got alot of no’s. Not rude no’s. Just no’s. For example, a bestselling author answered:

“Thank you, but no.”

An assistant for an in-demand speaker replied with this:

“Due to his speaking schedule, we regret that we’ll need to decline.”

Here’s one from a well-known financial guru:

“Thank you for thinking of me, but I’ll need to pass.”

What can sting even more is if you’ve invested in someone’s program, you admire their work and then they say “No,” when you reach out to invite them to be on your online radio program, telesummit or other virtual interview series. This has happened to me and although I was miffed at first, I got over it.

And here’s the reason why…

Your chaos isn’t someone else’s chaos…

I can appreciate that well-known people in my niche and industry have planned their calendars far in advance. It’s not unusual for some speakers to be booked out for the next 3-years.

I’m not there yet.

My promotional and speaking calendar is planned for the next 8-months. I know exactly what I’m doing and when.  Sometimes, I can help a colleague or client promote their workshop or event. Those with mature brands will contact me at least 3-months in advance. This helps me to make room in my marketing calendar for their great work without overwhelming my list.

But when someone contacts me at the last minute to participate in their event or product launch – and I consider last minute anything less than 45-days – I get into a place of panic and worry. Knowing this is how I feel, I contact my joint venture partners far in advance so I don’t create panic for them as well.

It wasn’t always like this.

In the past, I’d think of a program, launch the page and sell it – all within 30-days. I’d contact my joint venture partners about 3-weeks before launch to ask them to participate. CHAOS!

As my brand matured, so has my marketing calendar. There’s no need for me to create new programs from scratch. I now know exactly what I’ll be doing and when. This creates peace and ease for me and my team.

Declining invitations are hard – but do it with ease and grace…

You can’t say “Yes” to everything. But you don’t need to be rude, nor do you have to offer a story behind your “No.” Here are some tips on how to say “No” to invitations with ease and grace.

1. Have guidelines on what you’ll say “Yes!” to – I’ve come to understand that there are certain audiences that resonate with my style and personality. I’ve spoken to enough audiences to know who will respond to me – and who won’t. So, if I’m invited to speak, it’s important that I know who I’m speaking to before saying “Yes!”
2. Aim to respond to every invitation – I don’t get how people can blow off others just because they don’t recognize the person’s name. For celebrities, I understand why this would be the case. You don’t want to be sued because of the way you answered someone. But for those who are on the D-list, anyone who sends you an invitation needs a response.
3. Try not to become a meme – When you don’t attach a story to your “No,” you lessen the chance of someone misinterpreting your response and sharing it on Facebook. That’s why it’s important to use as few words as possible. “Thank you, but no,” can’t be dissected, but a six paragraph response can be.
4. Hire an assistant – If you have more emails in your inbox than you do hours in the day, it’s time to delegate your inbox to an assistant. If you put together the right guidelines, your assistant can make decisions on which invitations to show you and which ones to decline right away.

Bonus Tip: My team and I recently did this based on Pam Slim’s very brilliant process. Instead of answering each request individually, batch them up and meet with your assistant or team weekly to discuss what’s come in. That way, you can give each request a proper analysis and for the ones you want to say “Yes!” to, you can check your marketing calendar to see how it’ll fit.