Saying “Yes” without knowing the details can cause you so much grief. Just because you like the person and just because they’re your friend doesn’t mean you should say “Yes” right away.

I got burned recently when a friend asked me to speak at an event she was organizing. I immediately said “Yes” because I know, like and trust her.

But then, she sent the agreement and I didn’t like what I saw. Had I seen the agreement before I said “Yes,” I would NOT have agreed to speak. But given that I had already said “Yes,” I had to stand behind my “Yes.”

What I didn’t like doesn’t matter; the issue is that…

I said “Yes” without getting the details. I was kicking myself because it’s not like me to agree to something without understanding what will be required of me to participate. Because she’s a friend, I agreed to speak because I wanted to help her out.

If you find yourself in a situation like this, you can still back out and be in integrity. You can say:

“Listen, I know I agree to participate, but after looking through the agreement, I can only sign it if these provisions are met.”

Scratch out what you don’t like in the agreement, then send it back to the event planner. If the event planner is not able to meet your demands, then graciously back out.

But there’s a way to avoid getting into this spot in the first place…

You need to get the details before saying “Yes.” Whether it’s a friend or stranger, always ask questions before you agree to participate in anything. When you’re being invited to speak at an event, the questions you need to ask before saying “Yes” are:

• Will my presentation be recorded? Will photos be taken? If yes, how will it be used after the event is over?
• Will I get a complimentary copy of the recording of my session for my personal use?
• Do I need to pay to get into the very event I’ll be speaking at? (you’d be surprised – some events will still require you to pay the registration even if you’re one of the people contributing content to the event)
• Is there a promotional requirement tied to my participation in your event? (this would be the case if speaking for a telesummit or teleseminar, but some conferences and tradeshows will want you to promote their event to your network)
• (If it’s a conference) Can I attend the rest of the sessions at no charge?
• Will my expenses to get to and from the event be covered? (this includes airfare or mileage, ground transportation, meals and hotel stay)
• (end with this) Will you be paying my speaking fee? If not, what is the budget that you have for speakers?

Remember – you’ll save yourself from a lot of stress, grief and unhappiness if you get the details up front before saying “Yes.” If you consistently back out of events, you’ll get a reputation amongst meeting and event planners that you’re difficult to work with. Instead, ask questions first so you can avoid getting stuck without something you don’t want to do.

What other questions would you ask before saying “Yes” to a speaking request?