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Daddyless Daughters: Why We Selfishly Don’t Ask for Help

Doing it alone isn’t something we learned from dad; we learned this from mom.

If dad was physically or emotionally absent, mom picked up the slack. As daughters, we witnessed mom doing errands on her own. Managing the household on her own. Taking us to school, putting us to bed, helping us with homework – on her own.

She evens shoulders the disappointments that we feel when daddy doesn’t keep his promise.

Poor mom.

And then, as daughters, we model her.

We learn not to ask men for help. Because we’ve learned, as young girls, that dad will always disappoint us. So, we do things on our own.

We take this into our businesses.

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What You Can Ask at a Networking Event Instead of “So What Do You Do?”

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“I am a mischievous, curious storyteller who illuminates stories in a fun, playful and emotional way so I can shine and bring joy to the world.”

That’s how I answer the question, “So, what do you do?”

My answer often leaves people pondering or confused. “I’m sorry, what?” they’ll ask. And I’ll simply repeat it. Which then sparks a more meaningful conversation.

We need to cause people to say “Tell me more,” not “Oh, that’s nice.”

Your response to “So, what do you do?” will either encourage conversation or kill it. Meaningful connections come from understanding who someone is beyond their role.

To get a more meaningful response, how about we ask more meaningful questions?

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I Tried Adult Colouring Books & I Hate Them

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About a year ago, I started seeing a new trend. Adult colouring books! At first, I thought they were, well, you know, “adult” colouring books. Like, in terms of A LOT of skin and birthday suits.

But I’ve been educated!

I bought my first adult colouring book last summer. I then bought a whole bunch of markers. I went to a coffee shop, ordered a fabulous smoothie and sat down to start my colouring journey.hated0it

Oh what a pointless burden!

I did not find the experience relaxing at all. I find adult colouring books boring and stressful. All the fine details that need to be coloured in drives me nuts. And I’m not a detail-oriented person. Adult colouring books just don’t work for my personality.

Doodling is my adult colouring book…

As I was putting together a series of slides for an upcoming presentation, I’ve stumbled upon the art of doodling and sketching. I’m find this method of creativity much more fun and relaxing.

I bought a sketch book and checked out the following books from the library to help as I perfect my doodling skills:

  • Dan Roam’s Show and Tell
  • Sunni Brown’s The Doodle Revolution

I lose all track of time when I sit down and doodle. My inner child is so happy since she gets to colour and play, while my adult self is satisfied because I’m doing work.

How do you feel about adult colouring book? Are they soothing? Or are they stressful? Share below.

Daddyless Daughters: How Daddy’s Reaction to Your Pain Shows Up in How You Talk About Money

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little-girl-cryingWhen you were hurting or if you asked for help, how did your dad react? Did he respond with love and empathy? Or, did he respond by dismissing your feelings? Did he shout at you out of frustration? Did he call you names for not having thick skin? Or, maybe dad didn’t respond at all because he was physically or emotionally absent.

If you’re hurting and daddy was not there to console you, or if he shouted and screamed at you, or if he was silent, you eventually learn to bottle up your emotions or react in an explosive way.

How does this show up in how you communicate around money? Here are some examples:

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How I Survived the Wild Rose Herbal D-Tox (Includes Meal Plan)

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Photo by Emmanuel Lopez

Photo by Emmanuel Lopez

In late October, a picture of me was posted on Facebook. I had emceed my friend’s celebration event and my other friend, Emmanuel Lopez, caught a photo of me from the side.

My arms looked meaty…

I hated how I looked. So, that’s when I knew I had to do something about my growing weight.

Part of the weight gain had to do with a book I had just written…

I had just finished the manuscript to my seventh book, State Your Fees With Ease. I can write 25,000 words in a week, but it comes at a price. I eat sloppy, I’m at my desk 16-hours a day pounding out words on my computer and I have odd sleeping patterns. It’s not unusual for me to gain 10 to 15 pounds during the book writing process.

So, there I was with my post-book body…

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Pictures of Some Greater Toronto Area Vacant Target Locations

Abandoned Target Store #74

I’ve been fascinated by the demise of retail and brands. None has arrested my attention more than the collapse of Target in Canada.

It’s an iconic brand south of the border…

In the United States, Target is thriving. Many Canadians cross the border to shop at what’s colloquially known as tar-jhay. So when it was announced that Target was coming to Canada, many Canadians were rather excited.

And then they were heartbroken…

Target Canada was inefficient, broken and just plain boring. Target lasted 681 days in operation in Canada. The company abruptly closed all 133 stores, laid off 17,600 employees and reported a $5.4-billion (U.S) of pretax losses on discontinued operations in the fourth quarter of 2014. Plus, they owe tons of companies and consultants money.

The challenges of American companies expanding into the Canadian market is not unique to Target…

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The Multiple Ways Overgiving Shows Up In Your Coaching or Consulting Business

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In my last post, I shared why the trait of overgiving is so dangerous to female business owners.

I should know…I’m a recovering overgiver myself.

It took a really great coach, some hard learned lessons and alot of self-discovery to kick the need to overgive.

Knowing WHAT overgiving is brings awareness, but understanding the root of overgiving opens a whole new door.

In this week’s teaching, I share what’s at the root of overgiving.

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Why Overgiving Is So Dangerous to Your Clients, Cashflow & Confidence

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In my work helping clients reframe sales, I’ve come to understand that there’s one thing holding them back.

No, it’s not the money.

No, it’s not a bad sales experience.

It’s not even fear.

The reason why so many of my clients tend to do poorly at sales is because of their need to overgive.

Yes, overgiving is the culprit…

Most of my clients tend to want to help and heal, but they don’t know when to stop giving. They overgive to the point where they overwhelm.

As a recovering overgiver myself, I totally understand…

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Discovery Session Secrets: Who Contacts Who On the Day of the Session?

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So, the prospect has booked a spot in your calendar for a discovery session. You now have a lead that has become a prospect.

Yay!

On the day and time of the meeting, you call the prospect or you drive to their office to meet.

Wrong!

There are two reasons why the prospect needs to contact you (and not the other way around). I explain these two reasons in this week’s teaching video. If you want to woo and not pursue, you can’t ignore this advice.

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Trying to Uncover the Prospect’s Pain Is the Wrong Approach

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Well meaning sales coaches will say:

“You need to figure out what’s keeping your prospect up at 3am. Target that pain with a solution and you’ll make money.”

Or…

“Your prospect is trying to get from pain island to pleasure island and you’re the only one with the boat who can take them there.”

I find these clichés rather silly…

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