Attracted to a Man’s Pain or a Man’s Purpose?

Attention single ladies! Are you attracted to a man’s pain or a man’s purpose? Knowing the difference will either burden you with a misguided project or bless you with a marriage partner.

After listening to David Burrus share why singles with a vision need to be careful about who they date, this came up for me.

You see, if a single woman is suffocating from overgiving, overthinking or overindulging in the “o” zone, she will derive her identity through whom she can fix or rescue.

She will date a man, not because he is walking in his purpose, but because he is broken and in pain. Then, when he is fixed as a result of her hard work, another woman will reap the reward.

Why? Because he will only see the overgiver, overthinker, and overindulger as that of a fixer, and not of helpmeet.

Let me use an example to illustrate this…

When you’re in pain, you see the doctor, right? That’s his role – to fix what ails you. Once you’re feeling better and you decide to go on a vacation with your family, do you see the doctor? No. Because the doctor’s role is to remedy your pain.

Don’t waste time trying to fix men in pain. As David points out:

If you commit to the potential of what a man could become, then the person you expect to show up may never do so.”

Seek out men who are walking in their purpose instead.